Are the Tories going to implode?

It has gone stark staring bonkers in my house the past few days. There have been marches, protests, fights in the street, some humans carrying round rude placards that say horrible things about each other. This was all happening up in Lundun which is near us, not in our house I am glad to say, but nevertheless near us. I know about humans having disagreements and have observed my humans. If they have issues with each other (mainly about pollyticks) they just argue the toss until one gets bored and gives in. They don’t march around with placards or start fights. The thing is Lundun humans rub along together very well most of the time and normally it is just young humans and football supporters who start fights, but there is a horrible wore in the middul east and all the humans are very upset about it, so they have come from all over the Yewkay to make their feelings known to the pollytickal humans.

So we have lots of very sad and upset humans and then some She-Human called Sewer-Ella comes along (the She-Human calls her this because she says Sewer-Ella is fuller of s*** than an unemptied litter tray). Sewer-Ella has started saying nasty things about the humans who are upset by the wore and this makes them even more upset and even more turn up to join the marches. This is made even worse when some of the football humans drink human happy water in the human happy water house near the Houses of Parlyment. It doesn’t take much to set them off after that – (like perhaps a police human telling them that they can’t go to the cennytarf). Human happy water and being ready for a fight is not a good combination and it was inevitable that someone, somewhere was going to kick off. And they did.

My humans are saying that things havent even really started yet because they think that Rishy Sunak-human is not very happy with Sewer-Ella and may have to fire her. This sounds very dangerous indeed. But worse still, the humans say there is going to be a lot of pollyticks on the teevee over the next few days. The question I am asking is when is there NOT lots of pollyticks on the teevee in our house?

I am seriously considering doing a Nigel Farridge-human thing but instead of going to Oztrailya to hide in the bush, I will move into the shedd where I can get away from all the confusion and shouting and wall to wall pollyticks on the teevee. Maybe I can wangle being paid a millyun pounds of human money as well?

See everyone for my next update on the world of Yewkay pollyticks.