We are back! Me and the She-Human have been very busy having been in the wars a bit. I have sustained some injuries from fighting with some of the young cats who have their eye on my garden. I have ended up at the vet’s twice and the second visit involved having part of my head shaved so that the vet could get all the nasty pus stuff out after some young local cat bit me on the head. I hasten to add that this was not Spunj the Ginger Ninja – just in case Nursery and Lifeboat-Humans might be reading.

The She Human has been having a busy time of it too, lots of visits to the human vets where she had to have an operayshun. This made her a bit feeble for quite a while afterwards. She had to rest a lot, which meant that we could both lie on the bed in the afternoon for a sleep. She has a few other little things that need to be done so we are both recovering together which I quite like. I am doing a lot of purring when I am doing my Dr Mont duties – this will make her better.

That being said, regular readers of my page will not be surprised to learn that the She-Human and Door-Human have both been riveted to the pollyticks. Local pollyticks, national pollyticks, Yewnited States pollyticks, Ee-Yew pollyticks, the list goes on.

I was almost glad to hear that the orange ginnypig-man is about to be arrested in the Yewnited States. This will give my humans something to follow on CNN from Tuesday onwards. I never thought that the GP man would be helping the She Human to get better after her operayshun – at least he is doing one She-Human some good – even though it is completely unintentional.

I understand that the GP man has got himself into trouble by paying off a porne-star-she-human. Apparently he gave the porne-star-she-human lots of the human money to make sure she didn’t talk about him. I found this odd, because all the pollytickal types I know just LOVE having people talking about them. But then again, the workings of the human mind, especially that of the GP man, still remains a big mystery to me. I will try and figure out what is going on and what exactly a porne-star-she-human actually is and I will report back to you.

While all the fuss about the GP man, the human money and the porne-star-she-human is all a bit hazy to me, I know that lots of she-humans in particular seem to be absolutely delighted about this turn of events, one even more than most is Hillary Clinton Human – a very important she-human in Yewnited States pollyticks who Trump seems to loathe. He may loathe her, but I don’t think she is upset about that. I think the words thrilled-to -bits (one of the She Human’s favourites) would describe how Hillary Clinton Human is feeling right now.

I will get on with trying to make sense of all this, it is not always obvious to even an intelligent cat like me. However I do seem to remember that the ginny-pigs next door that the She-Human used to sneak off to feed and play with seemed to be very happy being kept behind bars. If the GP man asks Lifeboat-Human nicely he may fly over to the Yewnited States to make a nice outdoor run for him with lots of very strong, safe chicken wire.